历史与人物newyorker.com
一位佛教僧侣直面日本的 suicide 文化（2013）
A Buddhist monk confronts Japan’s suicide culture (2013)
2014 — 2019，它一次次回到首页
黑点是上首页（≥ 50 分）的那次投稿，空心点是没冲上去的投稿，点越大分数越高。
导读
这篇《纽约客》特写讲述一位日本佛教僧侣如何介入日本的自杀文化，长期倾听、陪伴有自杀倾向的人，并尝试用心理方法帮他们转念。文章也呈现了助人者的消耗、家庭压力以及社会对自杀的复杂态度。
为什么经久不衰：它把日本的自杀问题写成具体的人与照护关系，既让人理解痛苦，也不回避助人代价；多年后日本自杀率的变化更添一层现实参照。
HN 评论精选
长期、操控性的求助者会耗尽照护者，而机构可能因资金考量容忍这种情况。
他花了七年牺牲自己，把自己逼到崩溃、几乎丧命，试图帮助这些人，而他们根本不在乎他。这有什么意义？他知道有自杀倾向的人很难理解别人的问题，但仍然——他和其中一些人谈了好几年，现在他濒临死亡却没人关心。我在自杀热线做志愿者时，频繁来电者是最令人沮丧的部分。我相信其中一些人患有边缘型人格障碍……不管怎样，他们非常善于操控，培训的很大一部分就是如何避免被他们牵制、耗尽。有一两个人摸清了呼叫中心的排班表，只要你值班就肯定会接到他们的电话……如果你允许，会打上好几个小时。热线不会禁止他们，除非他们对女性志愿者有性攻击行为，我想是因为他们有助于保持呼叫量，而这对资金很重要。
Estragon查看英文原文
He had spent seven years sacrificing himself, driving himself to the point of breakdown, nearly to death, trying to help these people, and they didn’t care about him at all. What was the point? He knew that if you were suicidal it was difficult to understand other people’s problems, but still—he had been talking to some of these people for years, and now here he was dying and nobody cared. When I volunteered on a suicide hotline, the frequent callers were by far the most disheartening aspect of the job. I believe some of them had borderline personality disorder... at any rate they were highly manipulative, and a large part of the training for the job was about how to avoid being taken in / drained by them. There were one or two people who had figured out the duty roster for the call center, and you would be guaranteed a call from them if you were on duty... multiple hours-long calls, if you let them. The hotline didn't ban them unless they became sexually aggressive towards female volunteers, I think because they helped keep the call numbers up, which was important for funding.
文章发表后日本自杀率已有下降，提供了后续数据。
2019年更新：日本自杀率创1978年有统计以来最低。
gkanai查看英文原文
2019 update: Japan Records Lowest Suicide Rate Since Statistics Were First Kept in 1978 https://www.nippon.com/en/japan-data/h00381/japan-records-lowest-suicide-rate-since-statistics-were-first-kept-in-1978.html
有自杀倾向者的自我贬低可能是父母长期施压的内化，父母影响深远。
这是一篇好文章，评论也好。读的时候，有个叫“T”的人说：“我明白我落到这种不可挽回的境地是我自己的错，我必须自己解决问题。但我是一个软弱、依赖他人的人，三十岁以后还靠父母资助，所以我太软弱，无法自己找到出路……”这些话，我忍不住想——这些话、这些标签，不是他/她自己想出来的……这些其实是 T 父母的话，在持续灌输、推动他上法学院之后，植入他脑中的。读起来悲伤痛苦。当父母无法欣赏孩子身上自然的美、才华和生命整体的魔力……没有人能像父母那样深刻地影响一个人的内心。是的，这种影响也许在20岁前停止，但父母的影响根深蒂固，会继续影响余生。任何父母都必须认真对待。
75dvtwin查看英文原文
This a very good article, and good comments here. Reading it, there is a quote from the person 'T': > "I understand that I’m in such an irretrievable situation because of my own fault, and I myself have to solve the problem. However, I’m a weak, dependent person who was financially supported by my parents until after reaching thirty, so I’m too weak to find a way out of this situation myself. . ." These words, I cannot help myself to think -- that these words, these labels -- are not something he(she) came up with... Instead, these words are really the words of T's parents, that got implanted in his head after continuous drilling and pushing and pushing and pushing him to go to that law school. It is sad and painful to read. When parents cannot appreciate the natural beauty, talents and just overall the magic of life in their children.... Nobody can influence a mind person, his/hers inner-thoughs -- as deep, as long-lasting as parents can. Yes, may be that influence stops before 20, but parents influence is so deep seated, that it will continue affect the person for the rest of the life. Anybody who is a parent has to really take this seriously.
僧侣的方法类似斯多葛的负面想象，通过设想失去来重塑心态。
西方人所说的斯多葛主义有一项技术，就是 Nemoto 让患者/客户进行的负面想象——想象你只剩几周生命、失去物质财富、失去重要的人、思考自己的死亡。还有有意的自我剥夺。《A Guide to the Good Life》值得一读，有一整章讲负面可视化作为整体更积极思维的手段。
MandieD查看英文原文
One of the techniques of what Westerners call Stoicism is the negative visualization that Nemoto has his patients/clients undergo - imagining you only have a few weeks to live, that you've lost your material wealth, that you've lost someone important to you, thinking about your death. Also, intentional self-deprivation. "A Guide to the Good Life: the Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" was well worth reading and has a whole chapter on negative visualization as a means for overall more positive thinking.
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