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厚脸皮作为一种策略
Shamelessness as a strategy (2019)
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导读
这篇文章探讨“不羞耻感”（shamelessness）作为一种策略：像 Paris Hilton 这样的人物如何坦然“认领”自己的争议（如泄露的录像带），将其转化为名声与机会，而不是遮掩和逃避。文章指出，羞耻感常常束缚普通人，而敢于放下它的人反而能获得更多。
为什么经久不衰：它把一个看似负面的特质重新框定为可学习的超能力，无论时代如何，羞耻感都是大多数人自我设限的根源，因此每次重发都能引发共鸣。
HN 评论精选
关键不是无耻，而是坦然“认领”自己的争议和缺陷，把它转化为优势
我不太确定 Hilton 的策略是“不羞耻”，更像是“认领它”。录像带泄露是我第一次听说她，我以为她会羞愤、起诉、躲起来，但她没有——她把它变成了名利的机会。反例是“星球大战小孩”：视频被泄露后他羞辱难当并起诉了；如果他选择“认领”，说“对，就是我”，说不定能大赚一笔甚至客串星战电影。我一位因癌症动过大手术的朋友曾因伤疤羞于穿泳衣，我建议她把这些伤疤当作战胜癌症的勋章，她照做后说这彻底改变了她。秃顶的人也一样：用假发遮掩的往往效果很差，坦然展示的反而过得更好。
WalterBright查看英文原文
I'm not so sure Hilton's strategy is shamelessness. It seems more like "owning" it. For example, the leak of the sex tape is the first I'd ever heard of her. I expected her to be mortified and sue and hide. But nope. She owned it, turning it into an opportunity for fame and fortune. For an example of the opposite, remember the Star Wars Kid? The video of him twirling the light sabre was leaked online, and he was humiliated and sued. Another path he could have taken would be to "own" it, say "yep, that's me". I bet he could have made a lot of money off of that, and perhaps even gotten a cameo on a SW movie out of it. I have a friend who underwent some major abdominal surgery for cancer. She didn't want to wear a swimsuit because she was embarrassed and ashamed of the large scars. I suggested that her scars were battle scars of her triumph over cancer, and she should be proud of them and show them off. She owned it, and told me later that it transformed her to turn those scars into a positive. Similar things happen to bald men. The ones who try to hide it with wigs and comb-overs come across rather poorly. The ones who own it and flaunt it fare far better.
不羞耻感也可以是正面能力：坦然承认不懂，比面子更重要
不羞耻感不一定只用于不良目的。我团队里的工程师常受冒名顶替综合征困扰，而我不会，因为我干脆假设自己什么都不知道 :) 我在会议或架构评审中毫无压力地说“能讲得简单点吗”。让团队理解任务，远比别人怎么看我重要。
doyouevensunbro查看英文原文
Shamelessness doesn't have to only be used for nefarious purposes. I know engineers on my team suffer from imposter syndrome. I do not because I just always assume I know nothing :) I have no problem in a meeting or architecture review saying "Can you explain that a bit simpler for me" or something to that effect. Having the team understand the tasks at hand is way more important to me than what people think about me.
不羞耻者能推动公共讨论的边界，你可以钦佩他们而不必成为他们
这篇不错，但起初我不确定它要走向哪里。我有一位“不羞耻”的同事，虽不是 Paris Hilton，但他以道德上良好且有用的方式推动“奥弗顿之窗”。他会说一些我不同意甚至认为很错的话，会主动找任何可能帮助其事业的人搭话，会惹恼别人，也有人说不愿与容忍他的人共事，但我不会与他划清界限。rms 也是如此——愿意走极端把事情做成，且影响力巨大。对这两个人我都钦佩，但不想成为他们，并且一直是朋友。
gumby查看英文原文
This is a good post but I wasn’t sure at first where it was going. I have a … colleague (not actually in my organization) who is “shameless” as described. Not a Paris Hilton, but moves the Overton window in a (morally) good and useful way. He does say things I disagree with and indeed sometimes that I think are quite wrong. He’ll strike ip a conversation with anyone he thinks can help his cause. He pisses people off, and I have had uncomfortable conversations where people have said they don’t want to work with people who put up with him. But I won’t disavow him. Actually this describes rms as well, and he’s a good example of someone who’s been willing to go to extremes to get things done, and has been quite influential. I would never disavow him either. For both people (hmm, both males, both from the MIT “community”, and with other characteristics in common as well) I’ve admired them while simultaneously not wanting to be them. And remained friends.
羞耻感是普通人错失机会的根源，不羞耻感与专注、坚韧同级
如果运用得当，不羞耻感是一种超能力，我会把它与专注、好奇心和坚韧并列。包括我在内的很多人之所以吃亏，是因为羞耻感拖住了我们：不敢多次重新谈判薪酬、不敢频繁跳槽、不敢厚着脸皮自我推广，等等。
wanderingmind查看英文原文
Shamelessness, if used correctly is a superpower that I will place it in the same pedastal as concentration, curiosity and tenacity. A lot of people including me seem to lose out because a sense of shame holds us back, not renegotiating our compensation multiple times, or to job hop as often as possible or to shamlessly promote and market ourselves and I can go on and on.
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