职业与工作方法sambleckley.com
打断教会
The Church of Interruption
2019 — 2022，它一次次回到首页
黑点是上首页（≥ 50 分）的那次投稿，空心点是没冲上去的投稿，点越大分数越高。
导读
这篇文章把对话风格分为“打断式”与“谦逊式”两种文化：前者把打断视为热情参与和同步确认，后者视其为无礼冒犯。作者以“打断教会”为喻，探讨两种风格相遇时的误解与摩擦，并呼吁双方相互体谅、有意识地适应彼此。
为什么经久不衰：它揭示了一个几乎人人经历过却很少被点破的沟通文化差异，对职场会议、远程协作和跨文化交流至今都有实用启发。
HN 评论精选
面对恶意打断者，把结论藏到最后是一种自我保护的表达策略
我发现打断有时会催生一种很糟糕的对话模式。理论上，“打断教会”式的交流最好用“大端”方式：先说结论再展开细节，这样能最快确认对方是否理解。但如果对方打断得不准确或怀有恶意，更好的策略就是“小端”：把话组织成不听完就无法理解的形式，从而无法被打断。极端情况下甚至可以让句子到最后一个词才通顺。大端：“我不喜欢沙子。它又粗又糙，硌人，还弄得到处都是。”小端：“你知道什么东西又粗又糙、硌人还弄得到处都是吗？沙子。我不喜欢它。”
sgentle查看英文原文
I've noticed a pretty heinous conversational pattern develop out of interruption sometimes. In theory, the best way to conduct a church-of-interruption exchange of ideas is big-endian: you begin by summarising your idea and only then flesh out the details. That way if your conclusion is understood you find out as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, if your conversational partner tends to interrupt incorrectly or in bad faith, the better strategy is little-endian: you craft your idea in such a way that it can't be understood until you've finished talking, and is thus uninterruptible. In extreme cases, you can even make the sentence not parse until the final word. Big-endian: "I don't like sand. It's coarse, rough, irritating and it gets everywhere." Little-endian: "You know what's coarse, rough, irritating and gets everywhere? Sand. I don't like it." Little-endian (parser pipeline stall edition): "What I don't like, because it's coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere, is sand."
对话风格是文化差异，关键在于识别对象并灵活适应
这听起来像两种文化，善于适应的人会看清自己在和谁说话，并调整自己去适应对方的文化。我从小被教育成“礼貌”的人，但后来发现在某些圈子里，作为打断者反而能获得更好的结果和氛围。另一个维度是高外显冲突与低外显冲突文化的差异：高外显文化里的人看起来在激烈争吵，十分钟后却若无其事地一起喝茶；同样的情绪表现放在低外显文化里，就意味着冲突很严重，十分钟后关系难以恢复。
novok查看英文原文
Sounds like 2 cultures, and the adaptive person realizes who they are speaking to, and adapts to that culture to have better conversations. I was raised as a 'civil' person, but learned that in some groups, you get a better result & energy as an interrupter. Another dynamic is high overt conflict & emotions vs low overt conflict & emotions cultures. High overt will seem like they are arguing passionately about something and they will never see each other again, and 10 minutes later are having tea like it's no big deal, because the emotion level isn't really a big deal to them. The same emotional display in a non-overt culture and you can be fairly certain that the conflict is a a fairly big deal, and 10 minutes later, it won't recover.
书面异步沟通是内向者对抗打断文化的有效武器
我是个“谦逊型”的人，应对打断式沟通者的一个策略是依赖异步的书面媒介，比如 Slack 或共享文档。“我们开个会讨论 X 吧”往往会得到这样的回复：“这是我对 X 及各种选项的书面意见。如果你仍觉得需要开会，这是我的空闲时间。”这即使不能完全取消会议，也能让你提前准备并陈述观点。有些人不喜欢这样，但在有时差的远程环境下更容易做到。
otikik查看英文原文
I'm a Meek and one of the strategies I have developed for dealing with more interrupt-based communicators is to rely on an asynchronous, written medium. Be it slack, a shared google drive doc, whatever. "Hey, can we have a meeting to discuss X" will often be answered by "here's my written opinion on X and the different options I see. If you still think we need to meet, here's my availability". If this doesn't remove the meeting completely, it allows you to prepare and state your opinion in advance. Some people don't like it. It's easier to do when you are remote with a significant time difference.
反方观点：不打断者也应主动参与，沉默不该被默认为美德
让我困扰的一点是，打断者常被视为坏人，不打断者被视为好人。工程会议里总有“打断者 Tommy”大声说出想法，而安静的 Grace 有很多聪明见解却没机会说。人们总说这是打断者的问题，应该闭嘴让别人说。我不反对。但如果要求我改变行为是合理的，为什么不能期待不打断者也尽一份力……去打断？他们那样做会不自在，可我在听你解释我早已理解的东西时憋着不说话也不自在，我插一句能省下我们双方好几分钟的废话。
awillen查看英文原文
One thing that always bothers me about this is that interrupters are often seen as bad, while non-interrupters are seen as good. You hear this a lot in the context of engineering meetings - there's Tommy the interrupter who always shouts his thoughts, while Grace the quiet one has lots of intelligent things to say but never gets a chance because people are talking over her. It's always portrayed as the interrupter's problem - they should stop and let other people speak. And hey, I don't disagree with that. You've probably guessed that I'm an interrupter, but I make an extremely concerted effort to shut my damn gob. But if it's reasonable for me to change my behavior, why can't we expect the non-interrupters to do their part a bit and... interrupt? I'm sure it's uncomfortable for them to do that, but it's uncomfortable for me to keep my mouth shut when you're explaining something that I already grasp, and if I just cut in right now I can save us both a few minutes of conversation that's totally unnecessary. People then complain that non-interrupters don't get the same praise/promotions/other good things because they're not heard, but at some point isn't that on them? Part of what you're getting paid for is to contribute your thoughts during meetings. If you're not doing that solely because it's uncomfortable, isn't that a weakness for you as an employee? I'll just reiterate here that I'm not anti-non-interrupter, and I go out of my way to make sure smart people who tend to be quieter get involved in the conversation. That said, I do think this is one of those things where neither side is inherently more right or wrong than the other, but one side gets treated as the bad guy.
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