职业与工作方法staysaasy.com
给新经理的建议：别拿开除人开玩笑
Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people
2020 — 2021，它一次次回到首页
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导读
这是一篇写给新经理的短文：不要拿“开除人”开玩笑。管理者对下属的生计有真实的权力，这类玩笑容易被当真，制造焦虑、破坏信任；即使下属跟着笑，也不代表他们不介意。
为什么经久不衰：权力不对等下的玩笑边界是跨越年代的职场问题，这条规则简短、反直觉又极易被新人管理者忽视，今天读来仍然实用。
HN 评论精选
管理者权力重大应尊重下属；裁员要当面沟通，不能逃避。
这是很中肯的建议。作为管理者，你对别人的人生有相当大的控制权，这应当以尊重的态度对待。你根本不知道别人内心怎么想，很有可能你管理的人并不清楚自己在你心里的位置。有时这足以让他们感到压力，甚至促使他们另谋出路。工作本身压力已经够大了，你没必要再增加压力。我还想指出，如果你是管理者，你的职责就包括做让你不舒服的事。如果你没法坐在那里、当面告诉对方你要让他走人，那你可能不适合走这条路。要有起码的体面，看着对方的眼睛说。别把这事推给 HR，只因为那样更方便。
kemiller2002查看英文原文
This is sound advice. You have a significant amount of control over people's lives as a manager, and that should be treated with a level of respect. You have no idea how people feel, and it is quite possible that someone you manage doesn't know where they stand with you. At times that is more than enough to cause them stress and even convince them to look elsewhere. Work is stressful enough, and you don't need to add to it. I should also note. If you're a manager, your job is to do things that make you uncomfortable. If you can't handle sitting there and telling them you're letting them go in person, it's probably not the path for you. Have the decency to look someone in the eye. Don't pass it off to HR, because that's more convenient.
下属的笑和配合未必真实，管理者不能据此判断玩笑边界。
职业生涯早期，有位经理曾让我向他复述：如果我没做好 X 就会被解雇，像对待五岁小孩一样。X 是一个他完全不懂的技术实现细节，我猜他是在某篇博客里看到的。我的反应是装作这是个玩笑，但内心里我每分每秒都恨他，直到我辞职；如今知道自己已经超过他、而且绝不会帮他停滞的事业，我感到很满足。（换句话说，我记着一笔非常小气且持久的仇。）但我的重点是，他大概以为我对他那些玩笑没问题，因为我总是笑。补充文章的观点：年轻管理者最大的误解之一，是没意识到下属会出于基本尊重和保住工作的愿望而对你言不由衷。他们会微笑、显得喜欢你、被你的笑话逗笑、对一切都显得没问题，远比在其他关系里更甚。所以别用他们的反应来界定什么是可接受的、什么算好笑，因为这不是普通关系；你会因此以为自己比实际更幽默，也会以为更多不可接受的行为其实可以接受。
Non24Throw查看英文原文
Early in my career, a manager once had me repeat to him that I would be terminated if I failed to do X, like I was a 5-year-old. X was referring to a technical implementation detail that he had zero understanding of. He read something in a blog post I guess. My reaction was to act like it was a fun joke or something. But inside, I absolutely loathed him every second of every day until I quit, and now I take great satisfaction knowing that I’ve surpassed him and would never do a thing to help his stagnating career. (In other words, I’m holding an extremely petty and lasting grudge.) But my point is, he probably thought I was fine with all his joking. I always laughed. To expand on the article’s point, I think the biggest thing young managers don’t understand is that people are going to be insincere to you as a basic showing of respect and a basic desire for career preservation. They’re going to smile and appear to enjoy you and laugh at your jokes and seem ok with everything, much moreso than they otherwise would. So don’t make the mistake of using their reactions to define your boundaries of what’s acceptable or what’s funny, because it’s not a typical relationship, and you will invariably believe that you are funnier than you are and that a wider range of unacceptable behaviors are acceptable.
升任经理后与旧同事关系改变，轻率玩笑会伤害信任。
这有点像有人比平时早走一点时，你说“哈，这是要休半天假啊？”听起来（只）是个糟糕的玩笑，但会对你们的工作关系造成严重后果。我理解刚当上经理、管理原来的团队成员时，开这种玩笑很诱人。接受这个事实吧：你的位置变了，你们的关系也会变。不接受只会让事情更尴尬。
lis查看英文原文
This is along the lines of "Ha, taking half the day off, are we?" when somebody leaves a little bit earlier than usual. It sounds like (just) a bad joke, but it has severe consequences for your working relationship. I get that it's tempting to make jokes when you start managing for your old team members. Just accept the fact that you've switched positions and that your relationship will change. It will only make it more awkward if you don't.
幽默应向上冒犯；有权者不应拿伤害开玩笑。
喜剧或讲笑话的基本原则——业余喜剧也一样——是永远向上冒犯（punch up）。你对老板说“哈！你被开除了！”很好笑，但对一个你真能开除的人说就绝不好笑。同样，父母（应该）绝不拿惩罚或管教孩子开玩笑：当你有权力和权威时，你也有责任不轻慢它。人们对你手中权力的认真程度，只会和你对自己责任的认真程度一样。
sudhirj查看英文原文
The basic rule of comedy, or making jokes, which is amateur comedy, is that you always punch up. It’s funny when you say “ha! you’re fired!” to your boss, but never when you say it to someone you can actually fire. Same reason why parents (should) never joke about punishment or disciplinary action with their kids - when you have power and authority you also have a responsibility not to belittle it. People will take your power over them only as seriously as you take your responsibility towards them.
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