互联网与文化sites.google.com编辑精选
被遗忘的员工（2002）
Forgotten Employee (2002)
2013 — 2022，它一次次回到首页
黑点是上首页（≥ 50 分）的那次投稿，空心点是没冲上去的投稿，点越大分数越高。
导读
这篇是2002年出自 Something Awful 论坛的经典网络故事，讲述一名员工在公司重组与管理混乱中被彻底遗忘，长期领着薪水却没有实际工作，只能想办法装忙。它用黑色幽默记录了大型组织官僚体系如何让一个人“消失”在编制里，却照常发工资。
为什么经久不衰：它把“上班无事可做还照领工资”的荒诞感变成一则互联网寓言，既好笑又精准地戳中大型组织的官僚病，所以二十多年后仍能引发共鸣。
HN 评论精选
他认真做幽灵员工审计，发现一名十年未上班却领薪超百万美元的员工；此事暴露了公司审计造假和工会、管理层的遮掩。
这就是为什么需要做“幽灵员工”审计。我过去在三大汽车公司之一的财务总监办公室工作。有一天我收到一封烂邮件，要求我完成约100项审计，其中包括“幽灵员工审计”，然后在网页表单上勾选全部完成。出于好玩，我决定认真对待。我用Altavista搜了“幽灵员工审计”，才知道它是对薪资系统做反向排查。我的做法是让每位经理确认自己下属的员工名单，结果发现两名员工无人认领。一个在厂里很有名，谁坏了电机都找他修；另一个没人听说过。我说服薪资文员直接停发另一个人的工资。他火了，后来想找工会代表，但工会决定不替他出头。原来这个“幽灵员工”十年来没上班，却领了超过一百万美元的工资和加班费。我申请为这笔节省发奖金，却被否决：工会不想让人知道他们没替一个人出头，公司也不想让人知道幽灵员工审计其实根本没在做。最后我意识到自己不过是在泰坦尼克号上摆躺椅，于是转行当了程序员，从此没再回头。
jcampbell1查看英文原文
And this is why you do "ghost employee" audits. In a past career I used to work in the Controller's office for one of the Big 3 auto companies. One day, I was sent some bullshit email that I needed to do about 100 audits including "ghost employee audit" and check a box on a web form that all were complete. For shits and giggles, I decided to take it seriously. I altavista'd "ghost employee audit" and learned it is a reverse recon of the payroll system. I did the audit by making every manager certify a list of employees. I found two employees that none claimed. One dude was well known within the plant and fixed any broken motors. No one had heard of the other guy. I convinced the payroll clerk to just stop paying the other person. He got pissed, and eventually tried to get a union rep, but the union decided not to rep him. It turns out this "ghost employee" had collected over a million dollars in salary and OT, yet not worked in about a decade. I asked about an award for the savings, but I was shot down because the union didn't want to let it out that they didn't rep a guy, and the company didn't want it known the ghost employee audits weren't actually being done. In the end, I realized I was rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic, and switched careers by becoming a programmer. Haven't looked back since.
他所在欧洲办公室裁员程序出错，百余名技术人员在仲裁期照领工资却无工作，反而催生副业项目和创业公司。
这是对“被遗忘员工”故事的另一种版本。我曾被一家很有名的大型网络巨头裁员，但他们搞砸了——忘了在欧洲裁员，尤其大规模裁员，显然比美国难得多。结果他们本打算一天内裁掉我们办公室120多名技术人员，却变成了长达4个月的仲裁期；更糟的是，我们只是通过一场本应只播给幸存员工的全公司网络直播才知道自己全被裁了，他们居然忘了来通知我们。仲裁期间我们技术上仍受雇，所以按理说该来上班。可我们的经理也都被裁了，没人真来查。因为他们裁掉了整个部门——一栋漂亮大楼的一整层——那层楼里100多个极客照常领工资，却没有产出要求。有些人干脆不来，选择“在家办公”；但大多数人还是来了，玩Wii和桌上足球、做自己的项目、顺便找工作，还从中诞生了几家小创业公司和一些有趣的开源项目。我最喜欢的一点是，我原来的经理在剩余时间里把确保自己手下每个人都能找到新工作当成自己的任务……
secretdark查看英文原文
This is a slightly different take on this 'forgotten employee' story. I was made redundant by a large, rather famous web-giant once, only they managed to screw it up (forgetting that firing employees in Europe, especially in a large group, is apparently somewhat harder than firing employees in the US). As a result, their intention of firing 120+ techies in our office in one day turned into a 4 month long arbitration period (exacerbated by the fact that we only found out we were all fired via a company-wide webcast, intended to only be broadcast to the surviving employees. They had actually forgotten to come tell us we were fired.) Since we were all still technically employed during this arbitration period, we were vaguely expected to come to work. Since our managers were all fired as well, though, no one really bothered checking. Since they'd fired an entire department - an entire floor of one in a large, beautiful building - the floor was filled with 100+ geeks, all on a paycheck but with no expected output. Some simply didn't bother coming in, deciding instead 'to work from home.' Most, however, did come in - to play the Wii & foosball, work on their own projects, and idly look for new jobs. A few small startups came out of it. A few fun open-source projects. My favourite aspect of it, though, was that my old manager made it his personal job in the remaining time to ensure that each and every one of the people he was responsible for had a new job waiting at the end of the 4 month period. He organised recruiting drives with local startups, got everyone's CVs, even rented a pub one evening so we could all catch up with a few local startups. That large web-giant is hiring again apparently. Not many of my old colleagues are interested, it seems.
他指出故事源自2002年 Something Awful 论坛用户 Moonshine 的连载，并说明部分原帖已失传。
给互联网历史研究者：这篇最早由用户 Moonshine 于2002年发在 Something Awful 论坛。第5、4、3部分的原帖链接尚存，第1、2部分已丢失。
justtopostthis查看英文原文
For internet historians: This was originally posted on the Something Awful forums in 2002 by user Moonshine. Here are links to the original threads. Part 5: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=332580 Part 4: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=306921 Part 3: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=260220 Parts 2 and 1 are gone.
他朋友入职即被冻结在无任务项目上，只能靠打无意义文字装忙，最终选择读研逃离职场。
我一个大学朋友（计算机学位）约6个月前被招去做自动化测试。他入职后，被分配的项目立刻被无限期搁置。他是该项目的“资产”，而项目全冻结了；但因为是新员工，一次只能挂一个项目，所以他没有任何职责。他每周和经理开会，说自己仍然没事做、愿意做任何事，经理则回答他确实没活可干。另外，他还不被允许上网做与工作无关的事。最近CTO开始在他所在部门走廊里巡视，看到我朋友闲着就很不高兴。于是他得一直装忙，每天花好几个小时在Word里打些无意义的东西。我告诉他可以做好多事提升技能，但他此时对公司世界已心灰意冷，之前两份工作也没好多少。他转而申请并被今年秋季的硕士项目录取。我对他期望不高，但也不知道怎么鼓励他。
usea查看英文原文
A college friend of mine (with CS degree) was hired as an automated tester about 6 months ago. The project he was hired for and assigned to was put on indefinite hold right after he was hired. He's an "asset" on that project, all of which are frozen. But because he's a new employee, he can only be on one project at a time, so he has no responsibilities. He has a weekly meeting with his manager, where he informs her that he's still doing nothing and he'd be happy to do anything, while she replies that he has nothing to do. Also he is not allowed to use the internet for non-work-related tasks. Recently the CTO has begun roaming the halls in his department. The CTO gets upset upon seeing my friend doing nothing. So he has to look busy all the time. He spends hours of his day typing nonsense into Word. I told him he could be doing any number of things to improve his skills (which are lacking already). He is disillusioned with the corporate world at this point, his previous two jobs not being much better. Instead he applied and was accepted to the master's program this fall. My hopes for him are not high, but I don't know how to encourage him.
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